The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

When hope is taken away from you, you are stripped down and left with very little courage; it’s like you are surrounded only by brick walls and you are left without the option of being able to get around them. You become angry with the state of play, your mind dabbles with feelings of denial and this then leads to bitterness. Our family knows what this feels like – as hope was taken away from us.

I would say that Dad is the modern day, male version of Pollyanna. He sees the good in everything and everyone and I have never seen him in a slump – up until, what we now refer to as ‘D Day.’ That day, was 30 September 2013. It will be a date I don’t think any of us will ever forget. That was the day Dad was told by five oncologists, there’s nothing more we can do – your liver just isn’t working, we presume the cancer has spread there – go home, be with your family, enjoy what you can.

I had literally landed in London from New Zealand, only to turn around and come back again. I was in a state and my packing was atrocious. My suitcase weighed 8 kgs as it only contained a few funeral outfits and several pairs of yoga pants.

I cannot begin to describe to you how being told that sort of life expectancy feels. What I can tell you, is that when the Universe pushes you into a situation like this, places a brick wall in front of you, you will start to take note of people’s extraordinary courage, kindness and love; you become much more aware. You also stop caring about the trivial, and your definition of a good day changes. Our definition of a good day became a hospital free day.

We decided that we would get married so Dad could oversee and conduct the ceremony. We tried to be as upbeat as possible but there was now an awful elephant lingering in the room – one which none of us wanted to discuss.

I’ve never seen my father give up on anything, or be less than positive – up until now. Why? well any hope that was there had been taken away from him. When you are stripped of all hope you cannot even begin to try and make your away around a brick wall.

Less than a week later the phone rang. It was a South African specialist who had a cancellation (Dad had been trying to see him for months) and would Dad like to come and see him. In front of my Mum and brother who said that this was brilliant news, Dad looked up at them and said “what’s the point?”

It was both Mum and my amazing brother, (who I have to say never gave up hope and not because he was in denial, but rather, he believed that there had to be some way to get around this brick wall), told Dad there was a point to going to see this man, and he should go. The appointment gave my Dad a new mind set, a different perspective; but more importantly – it gave Dad hope.

He had looked closely at Dad’s scans and tests and had taken into consideration Dad’s reactions to all treatment to date. He said all was not lost, and to fight this, day by day… as anything is possible. All drugs were stopped, research was done, apricot kernels were administered – along with a new diet and a miracle was born.

We all need hope. What does it do? Well, it creates a sense of appreciation and gratitude you never thought possible. You start to look at things very, very differently – it gives you another chance, a new perspective.

Hope, like faith is often the hardest thing to hold onto especially when you need it the most. But the only other option in those moments is despair. Whilst despair is humbling and quite natural, hope goes beyond natural; hope is supernatural especially in moments of darkness.

After the hurricane, comes a rainbow

Slowly but surely, the fluid build-up each week on Dad’s stomach became less. At one stage he was waddling around with 14 litres on him, it looked like he wasn’t getting better – those five doctors were right! But, something was happening behind the scenes; something rather remarkable. His liver was healing by itself, very, very slowly.

People were shocked to see his appearance, given how much smaller he had become, but you have to understand our bodies are not built to endure such hard drugs and invasive surgery. You also have to understand from reading this – anything is possible. ANYTHING. When Dad got his hope back, it reinstated his positive persona and he was not going to let a brick wall stand in his way.

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough; they’re there to stop the other people.

22 November 2013 – another day we will never forget. For it was on this day, the same Doctor who had sent Dad home, said a miracle had happened; Dad’s liver had started to heal itself and was starting to function normally. It is a strange situation when you are expecting the worst and it doesn’t happen. Two months on and Dad was still with us and his yellow appearance was no longer.

Someone once said “Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away.” For me this was one of those moments, for it shows, that anything IS possible. No matter what life throws in your way, even when you are stripped of everything – you’ve got to have hope.

Hope is not pure optimism. The two are closely linked but are still quite different. Optimism is seeing the proverbial glass as half-full. I think hope is being able to see the good or expect goodness even when the glass is half-empty or in situations where there is no glass at all and you are dealt a crappy hand of cards.

By January 2014, I realised my job at home (for the time being) was done. It was time for me and my yoga pants to head back to the other side of the world and leave my folks to accept what had just happened. It was time for them both to laugh, experience a sense of relief and most importantly, start to heal. It is one thing to be told you are going to die, but it truly is another to be told that you aren’t.

I remember being visibly shocked at Dad’s appearance when I first saw him in hospital. I was beyond upset and could not control my tears. Dad simply looked at the grey clouds outside and said “the sun will come out again Janey, storms pass and nothing lasts forever”… You were right Dad, the storm did pass and you gave me back my hope.

x

Making the world a healthier place through the creation of a like-minded community who share experiences, provide support and promote wellness. A community that lives and eats beautifully. Inspired by love, life, family and knowledge.

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As humans, we find it easy to react to situations in an irrational state, often saying negatives things such as “this is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.” Practicing gratitude helps put a situation into perspective. When we learn to see the good as well as the bad, it becomes more difficult to complain and stay in a place of suffering. It further helps us focus on what we DO have, rather than on what we DON’T have. Over time, this actually lessens our desire for constantly wanting more.

When we learn to pause, take a deep breath and look at the situation as a whole, we start to realise that the situation (although bad), isn’t the worst thing that could ever happen.

It’s important to commit time each day to express your gratitude. For me, I write down a list in the morning of the 10 things I am thankful for from the past day. I then read this list back to myself, close my eyes, concentrate on slowing down my breathing and repeating the phrase “thank you, I am grateful” to the Universe.

Just like brushing my teeth, this practice has become part of my daily routine. So, how powerful is it? Well, there have been a handful of occasions that have seemed pretty dire (one example, learning about my Dad’s life expectancy), but I have surprised myself with how well I coped during those times.

I was able to have perspective about Dad, insofar that I became very thankful that I have had so many special years with him and that if he needs to go now, then it’s his time. Obviously, I was incredibly sad, but I had this ability to feel that no matter what, it would all eventually be okay. This too, shall pass.

Being grateful forces us to overcome our ‘internal chatterbox’ – the wee gremlin which has the tendency to dwell on problems, annoyances and distances us from our greater self.

My Dad has always had the beautiful ability to be thankful and focus on the good. Part of me truly believes that a further reason why he is still with us, is because of his daily devotion to practicing gratitude.

Such a simple action with an astounding impact – practicing gratitude needs to become a necessary part of your daily routine, in order to live a happier existence.

Closely ask yourself – what are you grateful for today? I’m pretty sure you will surprise yourself with how many things you will find to be thankful for.

x

Making the world a healthier place through the creation of a like-minded community who share experiences, provide support and promote wellness. A community that lives and eats beautifully. Inspired by love, life, family and knowledge.

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It involves a conscious intention to focus our attention without analysing or judgement. The conscious nature of meditation means that it is an intentional, active skill, so it is different from resting or sleeping.

Without going into too much detail (as this post is simply an intro for you), there are essentially three basic types of meditation:

Concentrative meditation: focussing on one single thing, such as breathing.

Mindfulness meditation: acknowledgment of thoughts, visions or sounds.

Contemplative meditation: opening yourself up to consider the deeper questions of life.

Deepak Chopra* says that meditation does not require a specific religious belief. It’s a simple mental technique to go to the source of thought. It does however, form part of every spiritual tradition. For example, there are breathing meditations in every tradition. There are body awareness meditations in every tradition as well as variations of mantra meditation.

It can also transform our mind. Buddhist meditation practices are techniques that encourage and develop concentration, clarity, emotional positivity, and a calm way of seeing things in their purest form.

According to Buddhism, this is the most important thing we can do, and is the only real solution to our own sadness, fears, anger, and general confusions that upset the human condition.

What interested us with this practice, is that during all of our research, meditation would be at the forefront of ‘wellness’ alongside a good diet. Article after article emphasised how meditation is scientifically proven to activate our relaxation response, and as a result, almost every health condition improves.

In the past, we struggled with committing time each day to meditate. We also found it really hard to silence our heads and switch off. Please do believe me when I tell you that it does get easier! Like all good things – practice is key. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t ‘switch off’ straight away. You’ll get there.

HOW TO MEDITATE

Deepak Chopra recommends the ‘RPM’ (Rise, Pee, Meditate) approach to meditation, suggesting that those who can will be well served to meditate first thing upon waking up. However, this may not fit your routine, so just set aside some time each day (beginning with 5 or so minutes), and make it a priority.

1. Environment

Finding a peaceful environment is key. You need a quiet space where you can be left in peace for a short space of time. We have made a small place in our lounge, with a pillow on the ground and a candle on the table. As we live in London, we don’t get as much time outside in our garden as we would like, but when it is a warm summer’s day, we will go out and sit on the grass in the sun!

2. Space

Make sure your chosen space is quiet. Turn off all distractions (including your cell phone). We have found some good ‘meditation music’ playlists on youtube which help us relax. All you need is somewhere quiet and comfortable.

3. Position

Sitting on the floor (comfortably) is preferable as it helps us feel grounded, and connected with the earth. If you can’t do this, just sit up straight, shoulders back and feel as though your legs are cemented to the floor and slowly close your eyes. Use pillows or anything else which might help you feel relaxed. Make sure your back is straight so you can breathe slowly and deeply.

4. Set a timer

A beginner should start with setting aside just 5 minutes per day. Over the weeks, try and increase this time to 20 minutes. By setting a timer, you won’t have to interrupt yourself by checking your phone or watch.

5. Close your eyes

Slowly close your eyes. This helps not only minimise visual distraction, but relax the body too.

6. Focus on breathing

Start to focus solely on your breathing; become conscious of it – both inhaling and exhaling. Try to focus your mind on breathing slowly, in and out. If you find that your mind starts to wander – don’t worry, your concentration will improve over time. Just make an effort to refocus your mind on your breathing and try to think of nothing else.

If your mind continues to wander and your breath isn’t enough to clear your mind, try counting your breaths or repeating a one word mantra like ‘peace’ to clear your mind.

7. Let go of judgement

Most importantly, don’t judge yourself as you learn to meditate. Just keep at it and learn to praise yourself for any small step made.

MAKE IT PART OF YOUR ROUTINE

An amazing way to declutter, de-stress and free the mind – so just go for it. You’ve got this.

Although it may not come naturally in the beginning, just give it time and practice. It’s something which Dad actively encourages and really believes is crucial to the art of living well.

Good luck! x

*Deepak Chopra – a world renowned expert in the field of mind-body healing. A prominent speaker and author on the subject of alternative medicine.

Making the world a healthier place through the creation of a like-minded community who share experiences, provide support and promote wellness. A community that lives and eats beautifully. Inspired by love, life, family and knowledge.

The post The art of meditation appeared first on Haleo.

SPIRALIZER

This is one of the first pieces of equipment I recommend you invest in! It is not pricey and is a tool which I swear by. This bad boy turns vegetables into noodles pretty quickly and is both user friendly and portable. Courgettes, beetroot, sweet potato, carrots and parsnip are examples of cool vegetables you can turn into noodles. Say goodbye to the traditional pasta and hello to a less bloating and nutritional alternative.

Amazon have plenty to choose from, this is our recommended one:

However, we have recently purchased the spiralizer below – which is more compact, has better blades and makes finer noodles. This is a goody if you want thiner noodles, but the one mentioned above is more preferable for thicker noodles. As it is from Japan, please remember it will take a little longer to ship:

FOOD PROCESSOR

This gem is the business and is a tool we pretty much use everyday. It creates broccoli and cauliflower rice within seconds and grinds up our nuts for raw desserts, sauces, pesto (the list goes on). These differ greatly in price so make sure you think about what you will be using the processor for. For example, you will need a sturdy one with a good motor if you intend on making things like nut butter etc.

In my opinion, you cannot go wrong with the Kenwood brand. The one found in our kitchen is really good – both solid and reasonable in price:

HIGH-SPEED BLENDER

We use this guy most days for either our smoothies, sauces or soups. Vitamix is a great blender, but the price can be rather unsettling, so we went with the Magimax instead. Good blades, blends well, quick and all round awesome:

MICROPLANE GRATER

This handheld grater, allows you to finely shave chocolate, grate fresh ginger and zest lemons. This is wonderful for all of those smaller jobs (like decorating dessert with cacao shavings):

NUT MILK BAG

You need one of these babies if you embark on making your own nut milk (like almond milk). It’s a groovy little nylon bag which strains pulp out of homemade milk:

JUICER

I never understood the point of having a blender AND juicer – surely they did the same thing?  It was only after research did I find that there was indeed a difference. When you juice, you remove the fibre content in the fruit/veges. This means that instead of your body having to break down and digest the food it actually flows directly into your blood stream! Sage is a solid brand and the cleaning of it doesn’t take long either. If you are going to invest in a juicer, this is a goody:

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